This was sent to me by Precious Jade of Spiritual Understanding, who may be surprised that this is on the page no less than four months after it was sent to me.
I suggest you try using peeps as bait. There are many ways you could utilize them as such:

  1. For catching or killing rodents. Mice and rats are suspicious of any new food, so you will want to leave peeps lying around for a while so they can nibble on them and find out that peeps in themselves are edible (to use the term loosely). Once the little critters have decided they can eat peeps, they will likely try to gorge themselves on them. If you want to kill the rodents, simply inject them using a hypodermic syringe with a convenient but tasteless poison and leave the poisoned peeps out for the little critters to munch on to their deaths. To catch live rodents, put the peeps in standard mousetraps or, if you want a weird challenge, try putting them on fishhooks with the looped end tied to a nearby piece of furniture. This last bit is important because the last thing you want is a rodent running around your apartment with a fishhook sticking out of its cheek.

  2. For catching fish. Attach peep to fishhook, toss line in water, and then on it proceeds as normal. Good for catching hypoglycemic fish.
  3. For catching children. Simply attach a standard snare trap to a tree, put a plate full of peeps in the middle of the noose, and then wait behind the nearest bush for the kids to come by. The children will come by and soon be hanging by their ankles. The plate of peeps may also be placed on branches laid across the top of a pit. Recipes for children may be found on alt.johnathan.swift.kabobs.

  4. For catching divine or supernatural beings. This would involve a variation of the snare trap, with the location being on an altar or holy place frequented by the local god of peeps or peep fairy. Once caught, such beings may exchange pots full of golden peeps or wishes for their freedom. Note: It is against divine policy to grant a wish asking for supreme power over the universe, a wish for otherwishes (metawishes), or a wish for waxy pumpkins. Also, be careful as to how you phrase your requests. A friend of mine wished for a giant bag of peeps and was transformed into one.

  5. For catching dogs. They drink out of toilets. Enough said.

I hope you find this information useful.

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