Several years ago, a friend showed me what happens when you put a regular marshmallow in the microwave and zap it -- it inflates to extraordinary proportions, but rarely explodes (my mom had a cow when it did). Once removed, it shrinks down to a hard, flat mound, stuck permanently to whatever you microwaved it on (paper towels, plates, you name it -- don't hold me responsible for anything you ruin).

After Easter a few years ago, my creative genius prompted me to use a leftover peep instead of a common, ordinary, boring marshmallow. Just the same, it became bulbous and disfigured and then cooled into a small mound of hard yellow stuff with eyes and a beak. I am nearly done perfecting the nuke-peep technique.

Here's what you do:

1. Spray PAM onto wax paper. Place the wax paper on a plate or whatever.
   
2. Place a peep (any type) on top, following the explicit 4-P's -- PEEP, PAM, PAPER, PLATE!!!
   
3. Place in the microwave.
   
4. Nuke on high power until the peep stops growing (it's dead, dammit).
   
5. Marvel at its size and nondescript nature (oooooh,ahhhhhh).
   
6. Remove and cool, letting it flatten and harden.
   
7. If you're lucky and did everything right, it's still edible; otherwise you just made a handsome paperweight/collectible/conversation piece/fashion accessory.
   
8. Ta da!