Hamlet, Peep of Denmark, by Brian S.
To peep, or not to peep--that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The taunts and coaxings of many peep-eaters,
Or to take up teeth against a sea of peeps
And by chewing end them. To munch, to peep--
No more, and by a peep to say we win
The respect and admiration of the freaks
That such a win is heir to. To eat, to peep,
To peep--perchance to hurl. Aye, there's the rub,
For in that peep of death what colors may come
When we have hurled up this marshmellow meal
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes peeps of such small size.
For who would bear the mess and trouble of kitchens,
The undercooked hamburger, tv dinners,
The long waits of restaurants, the risk of MSG,
The high food prices, and the lines
The patient merit in the grocery store,
When they themselves might their meal make,
With a bare box of peeps? Who would groceries bear,
To grunt and sweat through a big parking lot,
But that the dread of something after peeping,
The undiscovered illness whose symptoms
No doctor can ease, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather eat more proper meals
Than resort to peeping 24 hours a day?
Thus sensitive stomachs may make cautious of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is made sickly pale and green of thoughts
And enterprises of great peeping, and so
With this regard watering mouths turn away
And lose the name of Peep-Off Champion.